2013 Already?

Back in elementary school weren't we writing about what life would be like by the time this year came along? Is it anything like what you imagined? I'm still looking for the flying cars? Anyone know if they're coming any time soon? I know they are driving by themselves or at least close to it anyway. WOW.

So it is once again January in a brand new year. Do you make New Year's resolutions? I don't like to say that I do, but I think I do. I never say it out loud though. Every year I say I'm gonna do better, gonna make changes, gonna get organized, healthy, smarter, closer to God and  skinnier. But by the end of January I have forgotten all about that. Then I slowly throughout the year make a monthly resolution, or a summer resolution, or even weekly resolutions. I'm a wannabe resolution keeper, I guess.

Only one resolution that I have made can I remember ever actually being successful with. That is keeping the stairs free of stuff! Not sure how long ago I decided it but I had the same talk I have had with my family over and over again but this time it clicked with all of us and we have had clear and free stairs in our house for over 9 months! Even through the SUMMER! Quite impressive- to me anyway.

But once again I have made those "arrangements" with myself to do all those things and so far I am pretty proud of my efforts.(I don't call them promises because if they were promises I would have kept them in the past years.) I haven't ever done this well before. This time my main focus was on simplifying our life a little. We have a tendency to collect cluttering stuff all over our house. Just too much stuff laying around waiting for that "what if.." day to come.
Time to pack it up and ship it out.

 So far we have thrown out at least 2 huge trash bags full of junk. Loaded up several boxes of donatables, and even passed a few things off to neighbors. And we have only scratched the surfaces! There is still a lot of detailing to do and more digging to see what else we can find.

So lets see how well I'm doing by this time next week. :)
How are your resolutions going so far?

A year?

Really? A whole year, minus 6 days, since I have been here. What is wrong with me? Haha. I am so not good at this blogging stuff.

Well here I am with my 3rd attempt. Or 4th. Or have I reached 5 or 6 tries now? Oh well.

Today I am officially an AUNT! Well sort of. I have nieces by marriage. My husband had a brother and a sister. Together they have 5 girls. Beautiful girls! But my brother, full blooded brother has finally had his first child, a little boy named Elijah James. I have yet to see the little guy's face though and it is driving me crazy!

You see, up there at the top of my post is the one and only picture I have seen so far. No face! Grr. I am trying so hard to be patient but I don't know how much more I have in me. LOL.

Honestly I have so much to do today and I can't concentrate. so I better get off of this here computer thingy and get back to work. Maybe even skip the work and go to the hospital to see the baby face for myself. That is if they'll let me take my kids in there too. :)

Pray for what?

So I continued my last post because I wanted to talk more about praying about certain things.

I'd love to get opinions and feedback on what others think about this.

When it comes to something like health or safety of others of course we all pray for the best, right? My son was leaving for a trip, and in fact my husband will be here very soon as well. First reaction is to begin praying that all should make it there and back safely and in one piece. But is that really how we should be praying?

Lately I have been in various bible studies and read several articles that teach that we shouldn't always be praying for "good stuff" but that we should be praying for strength, wisdom and guidance through the "bad stuff" Notice I didn't say "out of the bad stuff"

In James there is a verse that says "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2 How do you understand this? I understand it to mean that if you are in the midst of trouble, then congratulations because your life is about to be changed by God! Now of course we aren't going to be smiling our way through the whole thing. Most times there will be stress, crying, fear etc. But we should never lose our joy. Remember joy doesn't equal happiness. They are very different. We can lose our happiness on a daily basis, but if we are a child of God we should never lose our JOY.

Instead of praying for a way out we should be praying for a way through our situation.

So again, how do we pray for loved ones about to leave home on a trip? How do we pray for loved ones who aren't feeling well? Do we only pray for healing all the time? Do we only pray for safety all the time? If that's not how we should pray then how should we?

This was my battle before Levi left for his trip to CA. I of course began praying for safety, but then after conviction I thought maybe my prayer was selfish. It was all about me. I wanted him to be safe for me! But what about God's will? We're supposed to be praying for God's will to be done. What if this time God's will was something other than mine?

So my prayers changed for a few days, suddenly I began praying "Lord, your will be done, I pray your will is to bring Levi home safely but if it isn't, Lord, please give me strength and peace to be able to handle the situation you are about to put on our family."

It finally came to a point where I couldn't pray any more. I honestly didn't know how to pray. I couldn't pray for safety, I couldn't pray for God's will to be done because I had no idea what His will was! It was that very same day I lost the words to pray that my cousin whom I love dearly posted this verse on Facebook... Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.” Romans 8:2

That same day and for the rest of time until my little boy was back in my arms my only prayer was "Jesus, you're going to have to read my heart and pray for me because I am just not able to do it right now!"

Here is the rest of James 1:2-4:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

So my faith was tested. I'm hoping that the fact that I stopped praying for MY will to be done and started praying the Lord's will be done is at least a passing grade on my prayer report card.

Another Milestone!

It seems this blogging thing isn't easy for me. For the life of me I can't figure out why. I am on the computer at least once a day but I forget about this all the time.

We reached a major milestone in my family this past weekend. My little boy went out on a 3 day adventure all by himself for the first time. And we all survived! Levi is in GATE and he had the opportunity to go on a 3 day field trip to Astrocamp in CA. At first I thought NO WAY! but then thought, what an opportunity for him. I wouldn't want him to miss out. So I asked TONS of questions and found out one of the chaperones was the father of some awesome kids and he also happens to be a police officer. So my mind was more at ease knowing that if anything should happen this guy has got to have a good head on his shoulders and know what to do in an emergency situation, ya know. SO if it weren't for him going my son might not have gone, LOL!

So Friday morning came and I was able to talk my husband into taking him to the school to see him off cause I knew I couldn't handle it. I stayed home with Jess. My poor husband came home sobbing. I didn't know it would be this hard on him, but I was proud of him at the same time.

Once he came home it was time for the countdown to receive the call that they had made it there safely. My Fridays are spent out with my mom, we go shopping, or walking and then out to lunch together. So I was in my normal "no worries" mode as usually on Fridays and completely forgot I was waiting for the phone call! So when it came I was actually shocked at how fast they got there!

Saturday we spent the day at my mom's having a yard sale, and then Sunday we had our monthly Family Day at the park, playing and fishing and having fun. We left the park at 5 to go play ball at the school to wait for Levi to come home.

I never once cried or worried about him the whole time he was gone. I prayed a few times for him for safety and then I also had to step back and ask Jesus to pray for me cause I didn't know what to pray.

Suddenly we looked over and the  buses were pulling in! We ran across the parking lot and as I looked in the window of the buss I saw my little boys silhouette and this HUGE lump rose up in my throat! The second I saw his eyes I started bawling like a baby! It was the most awesome feeling in the world to have my son back home again. I hugged him tight and cried huge gobbing tears all over his head! Now of course he was crying too but he was laughing through his tears and suddenly we are all laughing and crying at the same time!

It sure is amazing being a mom!

Everyone said he did really well they had an absolute blast. Levi doesn't speak much about it like everyone said they would but I know he had a good time. He is very reserved when it comes to showing excitement. Takes after his mommy.

to be continued...

Another battle?

I have to apologize for not being very cheerful and jolly these past few posts.

Seems the enemy is shooting flaming arrows at me in all directions lately! First with the loss (break-up) of a friend, then I've had a few episodes of not very much marital bliss, top that off with a little financial upset. But now it gets to my heart more than ever. My children. My son hasn't been feeling well the past 2 days and it has got my brain going into overdrive.

Tummy trouble. I seriously dislike tummy trouble. My son complained of a stomach ache on Tuesday morning and then came home crying cause it had been hurting all day. I could only think to give him some milk and later some Pepto Bismol. Of course asking many questions along the way, where does it hurt?, how much have you eaten, been drinking water? bathroom conversations, and so on. We had chalked it up to just gas, but last night his temperature went up to over 102. No other symptom except a stomach ache and now a fever. THIS IS SCARY.

Now a fever doesn't scare me too badly. Tell me someone has a fever of 103-4 and I can go into nursing mode to bring it down, Tylenol, cold compresses, ice cubes, cold bath, alcohol wrist pads, etc. Fevers fear me!

But a fever while my kid is sleeping scares me to the point of sleeplessness. I don't want to leave my child's side at this point. But I don't want to panic either. SO I pray and pray and try to act normal, I'm no actress for a reason.

But this time it's the fact that I can't say "You have a fever because..." If there were symptoms I could relax, but because it has to do with the tummy area and my son isn't very good at describing things in detail, my mind runs to the many organs in the body that can "go wrong"

I am constantly asking him questions. What do you feel now? My back hurts. Could this be his kidneys??

Now what do you feel? My neck hurts a little. Meningitis?

Other questions running through my mind are, should he be home or in school today? tomorrow? At what point does a doctor visit come into play? How high is too high for a fever? Should I give medication before bed if there is a temp of 99.8? Aye-yi-yi!

LOL! It's rough living with a mommy brain isn't it?!

Now I have re-read my post and I am wondering why on earth I am even writing about all this! Sheesh! I've gone and lost my mind. I apologize, But I'm still gong to publish this post so you can get to know more about who I am and the things that make me who I am. Talk to you soon. God Bless

Just Keep swimming, Just keep swimming

My very most favorite Disney quote ever! I can picture little, teeny tiny Dory in that HUGE ocean, trying to do the impossible and never losing faith. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!"

The impossible was done, due to her faith and perseverance.

Lately I have been faced with several emotional battles. I have been working on my relationship with the Lord, trying to make it stronger and it seems that my other relationships are going sour. Constant irritants are arising, arguments are more often and closer together, communication has been lost.

I know that the enemy is angry because I have been leaning on the Lord more and more, I noticed recently that the few days this past week that I payed less attention to my spiritual health, that my friends and family seemed to "work better" around me. sigh.

I really detest the fact that when I try to do what God wants me to do that the enemy is there tearing my life apart every where that hits me hardest. He knows what hurts me most.

So I am trying so very hard now to remember to "Just keep swimming" , praying and reading God's word as much as possible, until I have proven to the enemy that he WILL NOT win.

If it takes every breath in me to stay devoted to my God I will prove that myGod reigns and my family and my relationships will pull through.

I also need to remember that my Jesus, my Lord and my Savor is WAY - WAY - WAY bigger and more powerful than that little tiny blue fish.

Here I am/ Ending a relationship

So over a month ago I had written a blog post I wasn't sure I wanted to post. I guess you can tell I decided not to post it. I really wasn't sure if it was something I should put out there the way I wrote it so I decided better safe than sorry. Anytime I write anything that will be posted forever into the internet I try very, very hard to make sure that what I am typing is exactly what I am trying to SAY. The written word is sometimes very hard to interpret correctly. So if I'm not confident that it cannot be misread I will usually decide not to post it. I'm recommending this practice to all users of the internet especially.

So recently I have had to experience something I have never had to do before. And it was not very pleasant. So I'm kind of hoping if any of you have some stories to share or words of wisdom that you might post a comment today because I need a little support.

I had to break up with someone. Yes this was my first time. I've never even broken up with a boyfriend before! So this was extremely difficult.

I was friends with someone for several years but in the recent past I learned that I had never let myself be the true me when I was with her. For what reason I still have no clue but I am glad I realized it. Once I realized this I began to lose interest in the friendship and then little things started to bug me here and there. But I had no idea how to break up with a friend, so I went on as usual. I remember actually making a comment to someone else that I probably should distance myself from this person somehow. I prayed asking God for help and guidance with this whole ordeal. Well a few months later her children and my children had some sort of altercation and it was never resolved. Things went downhill from there. Neither of us spoke to each other for a while and suddenly she was sort of retaliating with bitter comments and then several emails towards me this past week.

I saw a side of her I never knew existed and frankly it never bothered me that we weren't talking much anymore anyway. So I had to tell her that I honestly didn't think our friendship was meant to go on any longer. I explained to her that I felt like people come and go from our lives with a purpose. I told her that I believe God brought us both together to support each other while our kids were in elementary school and now that they were on their way into Jr. high that we had gotten everything out of our friendship that we were meant to. I explained that I was hurt by her bitterness towards me and that quite simply because of that damage our friendship would never be the same anyway so I thought it best for us to move on.

Of course there was another email filled with more bitterness. It's the bitterness she displayed towards me that I am having a difficult time dealing with. I have never been in a bad relationship before, I have a family that never speaks negatively to each other, EVER. So I guess one could say I have led an emotionally sheltered life up to now. To have someone say the things she said to me and treat me how she did so hastily and out of spite is very scary and very painful. I guess you could say I am still in shock.

I have been in sort of a silent funk since then and haven't spoken about much of this to anyone except my cousin. I have only even told my husband about little pieces of it because he knows her and I wouldn't want him to think badly about her more than I have already led him to.

So tell me what is the proper way to deal with something like this?

Trying to be the best Christian witness I can possibly be, my understanding is that I should lean on God completely with the whole thing. So, I have been doing that. Praying praying praying. Asking God to hold me. To comfort me. Asking Him to make me strong because I don't have the strength to do this myself.

But the fleshly (is that the right word) part of me wants to tell someone what I'm going through. I am not one who likes to complain but I feel like I need to tell someone every single detail just to get it out and let it go. Would it be wrong of me to do that?

Can any of you relate? Share with me how you pulled through a similar situation? Share any favorite scriptures that relate to this subject?

Thanks for reading. TTYL