So over a month ago I had written a blog post I wasn't sure I wanted to post. I guess you can tell I decided not to post it. I really wasn't sure if it was something I should put out there the way I wrote it so I decided better safe than sorry. Anytime I write anything that will be posted forever into the internet I try very, very hard to make sure that what I am typing is exactly what I am trying to SAY. The written word is sometimes very hard to interpret correctly. So if I'm not confident that it cannot be misread I will usually decide not to post it. I'm recommending this practice to all users of the internet especially.
So recently I have had to experience something I have never had to do before. And it was not very pleasant. So I'm kind of hoping if any of you have some stories to share or words of wisdom that you might post a comment today because I need a little support.
I had to break up with someone. Yes this was my first time. I've never even broken up with a boyfriend before! So this was extremely difficult.
I was friends with someone for several years but in the recent past I learned that I had never let myself be the true me when I was with her. For what reason I still have no clue but I am glad I realized it. Once I realized this I began to lose interest in the friendship and then little things started to bug me here and there. But I had no idea how to break up with a friend, so I went on as usual. I remember actually making a comment to someone else that I probably should distance myself from this person somehow. I prayed asking God for help and guidance with this whole ordeal. Well a few months later her children and my children had some sort of altercation and it was never resolved. Things went downhill from there. Neither of us spoke to each other for a while and suddenly she was sort of retaliating with bitter comments and then several emails towards me this past week.
I saw a side of her I never knew existed and frankly it never bothered me that we weren't talking much anymore anyway. So I had to tell her that I honestly didn't think our friendship was meant to go on any longer. I explained to her that I felt like people come and go from our lives with a purpose. I told her that I believe God brought us both together to support each other while our kids were in elementary school and now that they were on their way into Jr. high that we had gotten everything out of our friendship that we were meant to. I explained that I was hurt by her bitterness towards me and that quite simply because of that damage our friendship would never be the same anyway so I thought it best for us to move on.
Of course there was another email filled with more bitterness. It's the bitterness she displayed towards me that I am having a difficult time dealing with. I have never been in a bad relationship before, I have a family that never speaks negatively to each other, EVER. So I guess one could say I have led an emotionally sheltered life up to now. To have someone say the things she said to me and treat me how she did so hastily and out of spite is very scary and very painful. I guess you could say I am still in shock.
I have been in sort of a silent funk since then and haven't spoken about much of this to anyone except my cousin. I have only even told my husband about little pieces of it because he knows her and I wouldn't want him to think badly about her more than I have already led him to.
So tell me what is the proper way to deal with something like this?
Trying to be the best Christian witness I can possibly be, my understanding is that I should lean on God completely with the whole thing. So, I have been doing that. Praying praying praying. Asking God to hold me. To comfort me. Asking Him to make me strong because I don't have the strength to do this myself.
But the fleshly (is that the right word) part of me wants to tell someone what I'm going through. I am not one who likes to complain but I feel like I need to tell someone every single detail just to get it out and let it go. Would it be wrong of me to do that?
Can any of you relate? Share with me how you pulled through a similar situation? Share any favorite scriptures that relate to this subject?
Thanks for reading. TTYL